2 Samuel 7:18

"Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?!"

journal entry 01-05-11
I want to begin this first entry of the new year with prayer.
Lord, I know you know our heart's desire in this situation but i need to ask you more frequently. i want you will to be done Father and i truly believe you have a job for Tyler on day shift. i would ask Lord for that day to come quickly...before July! its really hard as it is with just us 3 and I know Tyler gets exhausted. And i don't get energy from him because he is always tired. please give us strength, perseverence, patience, and energy in the time that we wait. i thank you Lord for what you are going to do.

UPDATE:
after 26 months of praying and friends praying for us, tyler will start on days this month! as soon as they find someone to take his spot. i am very excited. it was a very long hard wait. lots of tears. yea i wished it had come sooner, i'm not going to lie. having 2 littles close in age and doing naps, dinner, baths, bed routine by myself wasn't really my cup of tea. i love having tyler here. i'm not a person who likes to be alone. i was an only child and hated it. so you can say im so very grateful for what God is doing. I know that he waited to just the right time. i learned how to be patient and more gentle because I HAD TO. tyler got a lot of experience working nights and learned how to deal with a ton of problems. he makes a lot of decisions at 2am when no one to call because they are all asleep. so we really believe God had His hand in it. the timing was perfect. perfect to God. so i'm ready. ready for my husband to COME HOME! for years i've watched my husband walk out the door and go to work and he came home when I was asleep. but no more of that! i definitely went through valleys that didn't look too pretty but it was there that i learned more about the Father and i leaned on His Word to carry me through. His word is ever so precious to me. so if it took this hard time to get to where i am, i'll take it. thank you Lord for loving me and my family...

who am i o sovereign Lord...

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my life as i know it...

life is good...it really is...

stayin at home consists of:
stayin in p.j.s til 5 because you don't want your husband seeing you in them then...you want him thinking you've been to mars and back...

consists of no sick days...

consists of no vacation days...i'm not sure i'll ever be able to leave my little...no one can love him like i do...

eating my lunch at 2 because i really forget to eat...

taking naps whenever i feel like it...

watching dr. phil and oprah during the little's naptime...

running errands around town with a baby in tow...

going to the mall...just because...

getting involved with church activities...

being inspired by others...

cooking for my husband and cleaning the house with a grateful heart...not a tired heart...

lovin on the sweetest snuggliest little youve ever seen...






john tyler...
i love you to the moon and back...every thought is of you...i know i shouldn't let 'mommyhood' define me...but i do...you are everything to me...all i ever wanted...i wanted to break the cycle...i wanted you to have a mom...to be loved no matter what...i'm here for good...i'll never leave you...i pray everyday that God would teach me and lead me to be a mother that loves her child with the outpouring love of Jesus Christ...i pray for you...i pray for your daddy...i pray that he is a good leader of this family...someone you will look up to...oh how i pray..

recap!

recap from last post:

plant some flowers- check (there were beautiful...some are still living...the ones tyler planted(
picnic with my 2 boys
take sweet boy swimming-check
read a good book- check (read a few)
have a girls night
enlist in a sunday school class- check
journal more- check
learn photoshop
take wacky photos of my girls
give more of myself
wear dresses more often- check
sell stuff off craigslist- check (and made more than asking price :))
learn ebay
sign on with scentsy candles- check

summer to-dos

this summer i shall...

plant some flowers
picnic with my 2 boys
take sweet boy swimming
read a good book
have a girls night
enlist in a sunday school class
journal more
learn photoshop
take wacky photos of my girls
give more of myself
wear dresses more often
sell stuff off craigslist
learn ebay
sign on with scentsy candles

i'm pretty sure i can handle all these but i will keep you posted. ha.

DAY 9

tomorrow will be day 10...

a friend gave me an Amish Friendship Bread starter last week and my starter is on day 9. so tomorrow i'm running to the store to get the ingredients i need. she hasn't emailed me her recipe yet so i'm not sure what all it entails. i do know that it makes more and i dilly out some into gallon zip locs and share with friends. they keep theirs for 10 days, then they make some..and so forth! so excited about doing it! and sharing it! i'm on weight watchers though and i'm pretty sure its a high in fat sweet bread! i will let you know how it goes tomorrow and i'll post a link that explains it a little more!

http://www.momswhothink.com/bread-recipes/amish-friendship-bread.html

we aren't supposed to know how the Amish made the starter...but apparantly someone has figured it out for it is posted all over the internet! several different ways to be exact....

and where it says stir...my starter is actually done in a gallon size zip loc..so every day i grab it, kneed it..so forth. that stirs it..and i have to let the air bubbles out that accumulate.

we shall see how this turns out...so exciting! i hope its fabulous! and i hope tyler will at least try it!

Thumb sucking

John Tyler,
Today you were the best little baby. You played and played. I love you! I love how I know when you get ready for a nap because when we are playing you will lay your head down and start sucking your thumb so I know right then to pick you up, give you some kisses and take you to your room and lay you on your belly and you will be out within 2 minutes. You go down to sleep like that every time I put you to bed. Mommy was kind of sad when she realized you didn't want to be rocked or anything. You just wanted your bed and...well...YOUR THUMB! Oh, how stinkin cute it is too!! I be lovin you suckin that thumb. I know I'm not supposed to and everyone feels the need to tell me that "you can't take away the thumb, but you can the passy". I have no idea why people tell your mommy this because you are going on 5 months and there is no way I can tell you to stop sucking your thumb. But if I could, I still probably wouldn't. It melts my heart when you go to town on it. It melts my heart when you put it in your mouth then you lay your head down on my shoulder...awww!
We had company over tonight...Lauren and Alyssa and you just love lil people. You smiled and giggled and you loved the attention. You never got fussy. I swear everyday that I have an angel baby. Your daddy and me had a wonderful heart-to-heart talk last night about the Lord. It was midnight because he had just gotten off work and we talked for 2 hours. The Lord is working in the two of us and we shared some neat things. We are ready as a family to LIVE LIKE GOD IS REAL!! We don't want to live mediocre lives anymore. And now that we have you, we only have one shot to get it right and lead you in the way of the Lord. I want you to fall completely in love with the Lord and always follow Him and obey Him. I pray everyday that our love for Christ will shine and you will always see how important Christ is to our family. I love you sweet pea! Night!
Mommy